Saturday, February 5, 2011
What a difference a year makes...
On this date, last year, I stepped out on a proverbial limb. After much consideration and internal debate, I wrote my first blog post.
Over the last 365 days and 184 posts, I have shared some major accomplishments, daily heartbreaks, the in's and out's of my family's core. I have found encouraging words, gentle reminders. I have found myself silently nodding when your comments have shown that what I have written really strikes a chord.
I am grateful for being able to chronicle these experiences that shape us as mothers. Through our experiences, our playing field becomes a little more level. We are all out on the creek without paddles, sometimes. At least we can blog about it.
As I was going through the past year's posts, I found myself reliving the moments that made it out into cyberspace. The moments that brought me to my knees, those that made my heart melt, the ones that made me proud to be who I am, the progress I am making each and every day.
Through the blogging community, I have written about things that I am only now finding the courage to talk about. I have voiced my own disappointments in my failures as a mother, of my children's nuances that drive me insane, yet I find completely endearing. I've challenged myself to write Five for Ten, find my Intentional Happiness. I have even limited myself (or tried to, anyway) to Six Words on Fridays.
But mostly, it has been a long love letter to the four most important guys in my life.
From time to time, I see my older boys reading over my shoulder as I try to type a few words while dinner is simmering on the stove. I will find them scrolling down a blog post, smiling as they silently mouth the words I have carefully crafted together. The words that tell about them, their adventures in dealing with veteran mom and amateur writer.
Hopefully, some of you have found a kindred spirit out here. I can't pretend that I am some expert in parenting. Most days, I am holding on for dear life, carefully counting to ten, breathing in and out and racking my brain to make sense of this life that requires so much of me on a daily basis. I only know what is in my heart: a desire to be a loving mother, one that can inspire her children to be more than what they dare dream, one who is constantly pushing her own boundaries so that her children will not let fear hold them back. Some days, there might be some small, measurable amount of success. Other days, I am enveloped in failure.
On those days, this blog is my lifeline. I know that I am not alone.
For those of who have been around since the beginning, thank you for coming back to see what's been going on. For those of you joining us now, welcome. Pull up a chair. You are home.
Thank you for sharing my journey into the dark forest of Motherhood. It's nice to know I have company. I hope one of you brought a flashlight and a map. I am pretty sure we are going to need them.