Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What doesn't kill you makes you crazy

The thing about parenthood is that many of us are duped into thinking our children will be different (in a better way, mind you) than other people's children. And while that may be true, more often than not, all children are pretty much the same.

As a teacher, I know this.

And as a teacher, I can tell you that I repeat myself constantly.

And as a parent, I can tell you that I repeat myself constantly.

Were you listening to me when I said that I repeat myself constantly?

While surely, you would think that constant repetition would cause death, of the slow and painful kind, I can assure you that it does not.

At least, I think it doesn't, because I am sitting here writing this blog post.

Maybe it's just REEEEAAALLLYYYY SLOW. And painful.

But I can tell with assuredness that repeating yourself will surely drive you crazy. You will repeat things to yourself often, mutter obscenities under your breath, and feel the need to repeat yourself to adults in frightening ways.

You find yourself using different vocal intonations, facial expressions, hand gestures (of the non-obscene kind for the minor set) and physical shenanigans, just to get your point across the FIRST time.

And then, you just give up.

You just keep saying the same thing, over and over, like a damned scratched LP.

It's enough to drive the sanest person nuts.

The repetition is not limited to the under 18 crowd, either. I am sure that there are several, special adult loved ones that require a repeat performance of what you just said before they even register that someone is speaking to them. Do I hear an AMEN, people?

If you think you can't repeat yourself one more time before you literally crack up, then you should try being a teacher. And then come home to school aged kids. And auditory impaired adults.

Yeah, good times.

So, let me just confess that there are days I wish I had a choice.

Because my first choice would be speech recognition and on command compliance of spoken request.

No, I am not taking prescription medication, but it is nice to dream, isn't it?

And for the record, I think there I times when I would choose death.

Going crazy ain't so much fun, you know?

Hey y'all, when I end up in the funny farm in my very own padded room, will one of you make sure that my straightjacket is nice and snug so I don't pull out my hair? Thanks!

Hey? Did you hear what I just said?


  1. I know your pain. I have been a teacher for years to high school children, and now to my toddler and baby. The baby of course, gets a pass, but the toddler gets many time-outs due to "not listening."

    I wish I could have given my students time-outs. They were very much like toddlers. That's why I didn't think it necessary to go back and teach them. :)

  2. yeah....i thought it was pretty bad when i taught 8th graders. and then i moved up to high school. and THEN, i thought i had it bad until i moved this year to elementary school. in the media center. i may or may not have gone off on a kid for sticking a book on top of the shelf instead of where his shelf marker was....which i had spent an ENTIRE lesson on during orientation. was he NOT listening???? and neither were the other 650+ kids who came through orientation. i have learned in the past 3 weeks of school that i will never ever ever never be able to say things enough times for them to actually retain it. ever.

  3. Sorry, I didn't hear what you said because I was too busy telling my kids the same thing for the 200th time... ;) I totally get you! Great post!

  4. I hear ya, Maria. And I MEAN it! I really hear you. You don't even have to repeat yourself!


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