Oh, people, it has been quite a week. Between the Money Pit, my three year old's constant vacillation between "I want to/I don't want to" and the older two boys constant fighting and bickering, I think I would like to be in a nice, quiet padded room.
Sure, I am off from school. I am down one full time job. But honestly, there have been a couple of times this week when I have snuck off to the closet for a quiet, desperate sob.
This is why we aren't cool as parents.
Perhaps it is my own fault. Because I planned for doctor's appointments this week, anticipating that it would basically suck, but after the week was over, no more constraints from the appointments. Because I went to clean up that darned apartment to FINALLY get it rented and I found yet more water where there wasn't supposed to be any. Maybe it's because my three year old can't make up his mind one way or the other about anything. Maybe it's because I am tired of running interference with the older two.
Regardless of whatever the cause, I am tired. Drained. Frustrated. Angry. Sad. Anxious. Fed up.
Whenever Joshua pulls the standard "But I don't want to," I want to jump up and down like Rumplestilskin and have a holy fit. I don't want to deal with a house in need of repairs. I don't want to hear my children fighting. I don't want to spend day in and day out cleaning after people, waiting for Joshua to use the potty, waiting for the plumber that doesn't show up, the realtor who won't call, the messes that don't get cleaned up.
And don't even ask what it is I do want, because right now, I don't even know.
But I do know what I don't want.
I don't want to feel this tired, this frustrated right now. I don't want to holler at my children because they won't listen to me. I don't want to send Joshua to the potty, only to find him standing in front of it, his pants drenched in urine.
There is no magical wrap up here today. No wise words of lessons learned.
Just one tired, frazzled mother of three boys, sitting at a table for one at the Pity Party.
I accept the invitation to your pity party. What gift could I bring you? Supernanny and the crew from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition for starters?
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and hoping that things get better soon!
mind if i pull up a chair? i have seriously been considering some therapy after the past 2 weeks. i'm actually looking forward to school starting in august so i can go back to work and catch a break! is that sad??
ReplyDeleteexcuse me now....i have one closet that hasn't been cried in this week so i have to go take care of that.....
I don't know how we did it, but our 3 beautiful children are all grown up with families of their own, and the house is quiet, but still not clean. They will get to do that when we pass on! Payback!
ReplyDeleteMove over - I'm joining in your party too - Get this, I got the 2 y.o. out of her crib this a.m. i leave her in her shared room with her 8 y.o. sister (still sleeping) so that i can finished getting ready for work. 2 y.o. wakes 8 y.o. who is crazy like she's had 3 cups of coffee already. my mom gets there to watch them, i hear "no bad girl" from downstairs. 2 y.o. wants fruity pebbles from the cupboard - proceeds to take the box and dump it all over the kitchen while my mom is getting milk in her bowl. then she refuses to eat the bowl of fruity pebbles because she wants CEREAL. don't you get it? golden grahams - which is the ONLY CEREAL she wants - ever! sigh - chin up. like linda said, eventually, there will be paybacks.
ReplyDeleteWell, you know from my post that I'm at the pity party too! Why, oh why, is summer so much harder than the school year? And the school year is hard - homework and scheduling, and everything. Yet, here they are, sitting on my head each day.
ReplyDelete