It has been one of those days...the teaching of equivalent fractions has given me a sound beating and my oldest child has been practicing his litigation skills to justify a lack in effort that has resulted in a lower grade. Nothing major, but what has transpired because of it has me fuming...
My husband and I would like to think of ourselves as pretty laid back with minor stuff in the discipline department, but there are several biggies that cannot be ignored: disrespectful actions to another human being, lies, and lack of effort. Somehow, these three met up in one fell swoop and the "punishment" was handed out. Consequences were in line with the offense.
Except that, to a nine year old, it was unfair...it was hurtful, it was mean...and he is trying. Hey, buddy, we all are...
Unfortunately for us parents, they don't take us aside and teach us how to hold it together when your child is on the defense, fighting to keep you from taking away what they so want. They don't teach us that these sweet, lovable babies learn to use their words, often with such skill and eloquence, that they can break our hearts with just a few simple words, strung together without too much effort...simple words that with the accuracy of a silver bullet, pierce and wound this heart...
And then, the unexpected. A thoughtful, contrite child returns, with tears in their eyes, at the true realization that they have hurt you. They return with a sincere apology, delineating where they have gone wrong, and what they need to do to make things right. They demonstrate what you so often pray for: maturity, impulse control, holding their tongue to avoid the hurt of others. They say this to you, and for a brief moment, you have a glimpse of the man they are to become. A righteous, honest man, who apologizes with all his heart. A man, who is still a child at heart, whose heart skips in happiness at the thought that his apology is accepted, and the bad moment has passed, and the healing begins...And that part, to witness that transformation, right before your eyes, is priceless.
Just had to comment on this, too. I've been there!! This a tough time when boys are trying out limits. I used to teach 3rd grade, too. Now I'm with preschoolers and loving it!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by my blog. I loved this post-- as a former teacher, I know all about the "silver bullet" kids can find to get that one thing that will irk you the most. In your case, the wrongdoing was worth the reaction it caused in your son. I live by the mantra that the worst mistake is the one we don't learn from. He learned what NOT to do, and you learned what type of man your son will be! Priceless!
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