Monday, April 5, 2010

It's never enough...

Today is the last day of Spring Break. Tomorrow, we head back to the rat race of the last nine weeks of school. The promise of sunny, lazy days filled with fun and relaxation is over, and the new light at the end of the tunnel beckons...

But somehow, the week off has done nothing to offer this weary body some rest. I feel as though I have been trudging along. No amount of vitamin supplements or rest is ever enough for me to feel as though I can keep up.

There is a simple explanation for this. I am a mother. Of three boys.

I live a full life. I am constantly pulled into a zillion directions.

And I am tired. All the time.

There is not much I miss from my old life, the one I had before the kids. The thing I miss the most is sleep.

Rich, intoxicating sleep. The kind that would envelope me on late Friday afternoons, linger through late Sunday mornings. With no one to have to care for, I could give in to it, with wild abandon.

These days, even when I am off from school, there is no wild abandon. There is no getting enough.

I find it so ironic that now, when I need it the most, I cannot have it. Not the way I need it.

Sure, like an addict looking for their next hit, I might take a cat nap by my in law's pool. Only to be awakened by a blast of water from a super soaker water gun.

I might be able to sneak off to sleep an hour early. But the littlest love might wander into my slumber nest, sticking me the rest of the night with his elbows and knees.

So, it is another week. The start of another grading period. So much that needs to be done, so much to divert my attention from the things I would like to be able to do.

Nine weeks from freedom. Nine weeks from being able to stay up late and wake up later. Nine weeks from planning endless summer days with my guys.

Because no matter how much I try to cram into our Spring Break, it is never enough to see my boys laugh with delight, growing strong and tall in the South Florida sun.


  1. I know what you mean. My sister, who has no kids, is always telling me that I complain too much about being tired.

  2. Now I gotta tell you, if one of my little devils awakened me from a nap with a blast from a super soaker, I'd have her head!

    I'm a sleep addict, too. Never enough, like you said. Which also explains why I'm such a crank!

  3. This post is so resonant for me, both as a mom and as a former teacher. My husband once mentioned that, once you become a parent, sleep takes on a sort of mystical quality. You know that it exists in theory, but it's always just out of reach.

    May the countdown to summer go quickly!

  4. The most amazing thing happened to my husband and me once we became parents, Maria. We became able to fall asleep anywhere and anytime, even for a minute or two! I'm glad you're going to have the summer off and have time to stretch out and relax!

  5. On one of the days of Spring Break I went to sleep at 8:45 because of a migraine. Miraculously, Ben and Aidan slept til 9:15 the next day. A little while after they got up, Pablo came into Ben's room to find me asleep in his bed. Asleep. His reaction? "Good God, woman, you slept 12 hours. What is wrong with you?" The only thing I like better than shopping is sleeping.


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